[David]

I need help and advice. How do I deal with a cocky, temperamental, loud, and profane 16 year old red-head step-child who constantly puts his head out the window and yell profanity at the neighbors? I had a good talk with him, and it ended up very concerning. I said, "you keep that up, one day they are going to come after you with a weapon, or their parents will hurt you." Now his response to that was, "I don't care; my step-father carries a gun."

No matter how much I try, I can't get him to understand that if he instigates a fight, I cannot legally use my CCW in self-defense. He still does it and I don't want trouble from the neighbors.

Anyone have any advice?

 

[Shooter]

What does he like to do for fun? Do that with him.

Some kids are tough, but tough kids rarely are. Screaming and shouting are to get attention.

I was a difficult kid. All the yelling and grounding did nothing. What put me on the right path? My Grandfather. He made me accountable for my actions. No deferment, no "It's not my fault" you did it, you were a party to it, that's all you. He stood by me, listened to me free of judgement and allowed me the space to make the right decision. He never forced it on me.

 

[Cutlass327]

My thoughts..

Mainly let him know that even though you carry, if he starts a fight he has to finish it. No hiding behind anyone. And being 16, he is definitely not showing enough responsibility to drive. Inform him that until he starts growing up and showing self control, he will not drive. When the other kids start talking about driving and asking him why he doesn't yet, he will have to think about how it is because he'd rather yell obscenities out windows.

FYI, I am not a father, hoping some day though. I am also not a 'shrink', but this is how I feel I would handle it if my own kid.

 

[hobbles]

Does he have any tic's? (blinks an eye, make noises, shakes his head, anything out of the norm)

 

[BersaOwner]

I have had a few friends with teen children say this is the way to go.

http://www.thetotaltransformation.com/struggling-teen-help/

I have not tried it my self so I can't say ether way.

 

[David]

My thoughts..

Mainly let him know that even though you carry, if he starts a fight he has to finish it. No hiding behind anyone. And being 16, he is definitely not showing enough responsibility to drive. Inform him that until he starts growing up and showing self control, he will not drive. When the other kids start talking about driving and asking him why he doesn't yet, he will have to think about how it is because he'd rather yell obscenities out windows.

FYI, I am not a father, hoping some day though. I am also not a 'shrink', but this is how I feel I would handle it if my own kid.

Even if you aren't a father, this is some damn good advice. Thank you.

 

[hotshott]

You can not take away a privilege that he has yet to earn. Do what my father did to me,,, My father new many of the local police officers. Whenever I got caught doing something stupid my dad would come to the pd to get me. Him and the officers would laugh it off and I would go home with a sore bottom or a nice bruise on my arm. As we all know in todays world, We cannot physically teach our children right from wrong. But have the local pd arrive sometime after an episode of yelling out the window and take him away for an evening in the local lockup. Providing it would not toughen him up to the point of revenge. Hands on "tough love" learning might be what he needs to begin to see right from wrong. He is obviously looking for some sort of attention.

 

[spyder]

maybe go the lobotomy route. you can get a do-it yourself kit on Ebay.

 

[Cutlass327]

Hottshot, I can see your meaning. I would just fear too that the "my dad will save me" attitude would be carried into the police taking him and Dad comes gets him with a slap on the wrist type thing. Maybe a day spent in a cell would help though....

 

[hotshott]

Hottshot, I can see your meaning. I would just fear too that the "my dad will save me" attitude would be carried into the police taking him and Dad comes gets him with a slap on the wrist type thing. Maybe a day spent in a cell would help though....

I'm not a head doc. But that Sh$t worked for me. I continued to get in trouble, but not with the law. Until I turned 21,,, That's a whole new chapter.. I have been asked for advise my whole life on how to raise others children. The best advise I could give was to not ask me for advise.. Children are our future. We as parents need to do what we can, when we can to assure there place in society. Then comes the age when we need to stop. However, They are our children til we as parents are gone.. Best of luck. Keep me informed of your progress. You never stop being a parent.