FIFTY YEAR OLD MANURE SPREADER - $1( WASHINGTON , DC )
Fifty-year old manure spreader. Not sure of brand. Said to have been produced in Kenya .
Used for a few years in Indonesia before being smuggled into the US via Hawaii .
Of questionable pedigree. Does not appear to have ever been worked hard. Apparently,
it was pampered by various owners over the years. It doesn't work very often, but when it does
it can sling **** for amazing distances. I am hoping to retire the manure spreader this November.
I really don't want it hanging around getting in the way. I would prefer a foreign buyer to relocate
the manure spreader out of the country. I would be willing to trade it for a nicely framed copy
of the United States Constitution.
Location: Currently being stored in a big white house in Washington , D.C.
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do," Said Bob.
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"
I'm really embarrassed about this, but I feel such a kinship to our forum members, particularly the older men, that I must put aside my shame and warn you about a scam that appears to spreading among con artists across the country. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.
Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping items into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their tops almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is almost impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds. If you agree, they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen August 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th & 29th. Also on Sept. 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 28th, and three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at K-Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Costco.