Good advice from my broker

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by hobbles, Oct 19, 2012.

  1. hobbles

    hobbles Junior Member

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    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Investment Advice
    If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today!

    If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

    If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

    But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

    Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.

    It is called the 401-Keg.

    And as a bonus...

    A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that the average American gets about 41 miles to the gallon!

    Makes you damned proud to be an American!
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    Last edited: Oct 19, 2012
  2. Pancho_Villa

    Pancho_Villa Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Those are good. LMAO!!!!!!!!
     

  3. fstroupe

    fstroupe Member

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    There is a chemical found in hops that has been determined to help prevent prostate cancer. In addition, lycopene, found in tomatoes, has also been found to help prevent prostate cancer. So while you are enjoying the 401 Keg plan, you can also beer and pizza your way to prostate health.

    (unfortunately, you would have to drink something like 27 cases of beer a day to get significant results)
     
  4. SHOOTER13

    SHOOTER13 RETIRED MODERATOR Lifetime Supporter

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    On my way to pick up some beer and pizza right now...!! :D
     
  5. Shooter

    Shooter Administrator Staff Member Administrator

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    Sounds like you are a savvy investor!
     
  6. SHOOTER13

    SHOOTER13 RETIRED MODERATOR Lifetime Supporter

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    :D...yea, I have my moments !